Prayers answered

Martin had his surgery today, and all went well. I am almost ashamed of my attitude over the last 7 weeks, letting fear and doubt be such a part of my life, and once again, I have learned that Heavenly Father will have his way. I shouldn't try to mentally control the outcome. After the surgery, I went back to recovery, and found Martin lying flat on his back, (as he was required to do for some time) and grinning at me. The first thing I noticed, was that he was absolutely pink in color! I hadn't realized that his coloring was off, but seeing him like that made me realize that he had indeed, become kind of grey or even pale. I kissed him and said, "hey piglet!" He was confused as to why I would call him piglet, but I told him his fresh pink color reminded me of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. So, here's the news. It took a few tries, but finally the rotor blade, which is a tiny drill, was able to get through the calcium block. The doctor then put in a stent, so that the artery would stay open. This was done while Martin was awake, and through the femoral artery to the heart. The doctor told me that the other large artery was completly blocked, but we knew that and the only way to fix that would be with a bypass. Martin cannot do a bypass, so we just have to leave it as it is. Opening the main artery was the goal, and it was accomplished. There are a couple of other smaller arteries that are blocked, but according to the doctor, they are not overy worried about them, as the heart will form what is called "collateral circulation" meaning that small arteries will form from around the blocked area. We will watch and keep tabs on the situation, but for now, my Honey is out of danger. I felt faint when the doctor told me "everything just went beautifully" because I was so relieved.

I began to mentally plan the fun events of the coming year. First, there are birthdays, some in January, some in February, and some in March. We always love to have a big party for all of these together, and I am already in the planning stage. The rest of the year has plenty of birthdays, but not really clustered together. All of them will be celebrated, most especially Martin's, with much gratitude. Then, in July, we will celebrate our 40th anniversary. I mean, really celebrate! I can't wait to see what the kids do for us, but I don't care, as I will have another anniversary with Martin, and many more I hope. I also want to have a 4th of July picnic. I want all our family and lots of friends to come and have a real old fashioned picnic. We must have homemade ice cream for sure, and hot dogs and all the goodies. Martin will make his famous homemade rootbeer, and I am going to make ribbons for prizes for the games. Some of the games will be: a watermelon seed spit, where whoever spits their seed the farthest wins, a water balloon toss, a spoon race, a sack race and other games. I am going to ask the ladies to bring cakes and pies and we will judge them for a prize. Oh, I am getting excited just thinking about it! I hope to have it in the park by the bay, and we will take lots of pictures. It is so important to have family and friends meet and enjoy each other's company!

I left Martin at the hospital to rest tonight, and I came home so that he will actually sleep. He will come home tomorrow, and take it easy for awhile. I slept today, a nap, that was a really deep sleep, for the first time in many weeks, without dread or fear to plague me. I know that anything can happen at any time, but for now, I feel respite from the awful feelings that I brought on myself. Why couldn't I have been more confident in Heavenly Father's blessings? Why couldn't I have relied on all the prayers given on our behalf? I have learned one thing for sure, I am not going to borrow trouble after this- if trouble comes, it will come. I am not going to waste my life imagining all the terrible things that could be.