Be ye Strong

Well, Little Joe finally has his first tooth peeking through! He has had a tough time teething, and maybe we can all get some relief!

Martin was told at work today that the HR specialist is coming to see him tomorrow. Maybe this is the final blow, and they will give him his termination letter. I got a very bad upset stomach when he told me she was coming, but, I am so far beyond that- anyway, our attorney told us to expect it. Still, it is something after 19 years on the job, to be thrown away because you are sick, and the illness was caused by the environment where you work. Martin also had another attack last night, and I just froze up, because, when these attacks come, it makes me realize how dangerous the situation is. Again, I hope you can all tell me that I worried for nothing, in fact that is something I am counting on. I made a mistake yesterday, Martin will see the Cardiologist on Thursday, not Friday. One day closer. Something else, his sister Cheryl called me and told me that she would stay with me while they are doing the proceedure. She is very quiet, and never speaks up about anything, but for her to be so adamant that she wants to be there for me is something very special to me. I love her, she is such a blessing in our lives.

Today, I learned that an old friend of mine, someone whom I have known since 1976, suddenly passed away. He and his wife and family have been a special part of our lives. His wife and I had our children together, raised them together at church, and have been so very close. Even separated by years of time, whenever we got back together, it was like we had never left. I was so saddened to hear of his passing, and am so sad for his wife. Okay, I am thinking about how it will be if I were to lose my honey. I can't bear the thought, and it is hard for me to think that I will have to face my friend with the loss of her sweetheart. I will be there for her, no matter how I feel. It is a shame that we only see precious old friends when there is a funeral. Indeed, the last two times we were together was for the funeral of Bobbie Jo and for the funeral of the grandchildren of another friend and sister in the "group". The group consists of quite a few women who were young together, raised kids together and watched them grow. We stood by each other in times of tragedy, and times of joy. Christmases, birthdays, weddings, and sadly, funerals have united us over more than 30 years. At least 8 of us have lost one or more children to accident or disease. We have that special bond that unites women who have experienced the ultimate tragedy, the death of a child. When we get together, we have the unspoken knowlege of loss, and the forever unbreakable bond that forms when you experience with someone that loss, especially after you have experienced a loss like that of your own. The amazing thing is, that when we were young, newly married women and mothers, we had such powerful dreams and commitments to Heavenly Father, and all of us continue to have that commitment in spite of our tragedies. We are strong, especially since we are examples to each other. Our many children continue to have a special bond, even though they are scattered to the far corners of the earth with jobs and family. That bond will also be eternal, and how sweet is the reunion, no matter what the circumstances. Yes, soon we will all be together again, mourning this wonderful man, and grieving with his family. Tears will be shed, not only for the loss, but also for the joy of being united for a short while, and learning of what has happened to each other over the years.

I am so thankful for my life. I have so very much, and have come so very far. I will never be alone, I am surrounded by love and those who make sure that I know it. How many times do I say, "I love you" in a day? I guess I'll have to make a count, it should be fun to find out. All I know is that those words come naturally to me to so many. Yes, our backs are against the wall right now, with Martin's health issues and his employment concerns, but as my favorite scripture says: Be ye strong and of a good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee. What more can I ask for?