Today was just absolutely horrible. It started out nicely enough, Little Joe and Eli and Jacob came as usual, ate breakfast and Eli and Jacob got on the bus. Little Joe stayed up for awhile, and then had a nap. While he was sleeping, I took advantage of the break and started cleaning the floors. The dogs were locked outside and I was a whirling dervish sweeping and mopping with the short time I had. We were under a storm watch, and I thought it would be nice to open the front door and catch the stiff breeze and freshen the house. Just as I put the mop away and was admiring my fresh smelling home, the phone rang. It was Martin. He wanted to tell me we were under a storm watch and maybe I should bring the dogs in so they wouldn't get muddy.

Okay, before I continue, I have to give you a slight history of my and my dogs. 12 years ago, we had two German Shepherds. They loved to bark at people when they went by, and had gotten out on occasion. I constantly worried that they would get out and frighten someone, although they were really friendly, but they were German Shepherds, so that scares people. One day, a friend of Aaron's let them out and they got into a dogfight. The owner sued us, and it was awful. Years later, after these dogs died, we got another shepherd, Rocky, to help Martin through the grief of losing Bobbie Jo. When Rocky was 9 months old, he got loose and lost in the swamps and bayous near the house. We couldn't find him, and I couldn't stop crying. After 4 days of constant searching by us and the whole neighborhood, Rocky found his way home. After these two incidents, I have dog-phobia, meaning that I am so afraid that the dogs will get out and something awful will happen. The word "Dogcatcher" makes my stomach cramp, and well, I really have an issue with it. Sometimes I wish I didn't have the dogs, but they are so sweet and they do guard the house. One time we were robbed, but they only got into the garage, as the dogs kept them out of the house.

Anyway, after Martin suggested that I let them in, I got up, opened the back door and sat back down, continuing to talk to Martin. In a split second, I realized that the front door was open, and dashed into the living room to see my two dogs gamboling on the front lawn. I threw down the phone, and ran outside, but when they saw me, they took off down the street. I had Little Joe in the other room and couldn't chase them, and I just freaked out. My worst nightmare was coming true, and I was alone. I knew if the dogcatcher got them, then I would have to pay a huge fine, and this is not a good time for a huge fine. In no time, the dogs were gone from my sight, and I came in the house, just hysterical. I called Martin to come home, but I couldn't get him back on the phone. Finally, I called the dogcatcher to see if he would help me, even though I would probably get a ticket for the dogs being out. He was not available. I couldn't stop crying, and I felt feint. I called Becky to come home, because I knew I couldn't watch the baby like that. I was so afraid that the dogs would get into a fight, or someone would be frightened by them, and my mind was making up all kinds of scenarios, all of them bad. I prayed and prayed, and begged Heavenly Father to bring them home. I checked on Little Joe who was still asleep, (although I can't imagine how) and as I was going back to the front door, a huge clap of thunder roared through the sky. Suddenly, there they were! The dogs were frightened of the storm, and ran straight back into the house! It was over! I believe that somehow Heavenly Father sent them home, maybe through that tremendous clap of thunder. My nephew David had come down to see what he could do to help, but by then, the dogs were home.

You would think that since it turned out so well, that that was the end of it. But no, remember we are talking about me here, and after the hysteria, the uncontrollable shaking and crying began. David got the baby up, but my arms were so weak I could not hold him. I told him Becky was on her way home, and I continued to sob in fear and anxiety. Why? Because I have dog phobia. David was really worried about me, and kept telling me to calm down, that everything was okay, but I just couldn't. Maybe it is because I have been suppressing my emotions through Martin's scare and now his pending unemployment. Anyway, the dam burst and boy, did it burst. I finally took an anti-anxiety pill, and in about half an hour, I began to slow down. By then, Becky was home and David went to his bus driving job. After she got home, Becky took the baby, and I lay down and fell asleep. I slept until after 6pm, and awoke with a headache and my muscles cramping. So, here I am, trying to aleviate the stress of the day by writing about it, and the dogs are at my feet, looking angelic, and as if nothing happened. I would like to say that I would like to get other homes for them, but today was my fault, not theirs. I have to remember that they are good dogs, and the opportunity to "run greener pastures" is something irresistible. I don't think this will happen again. I certainly won't leave the front door open for any reason. I am thankful that nothing happened, and I need to realize that because nothing happened, then nothing is wrong. Gloomy Gussy really had her day today, but I have tucked her away again, and will try to remember that she cannot be an influence on me. All is quiet tonight, all is well.