Finally!

Well, the process has finally begun. HR told Martin today that they were going to start termination proceedings against him. Apparently, this takes some time, but each day he gets paid, is more money to save. I thought I was an ant before. Remember the And and the Grasshopper? I compared my feeble efforts at econonmy to being like and Ant instead of a Grasshopper, but now, reality has set in. When I found out that he was definetly going to be terminated, I got physically ill, (like I always do) and turned down 2 dinner invitations because I had such an upset stomach. I relished the quiet, as all the grandkids, Martin and Aunt Cheryl had gone to eat somewhere. Tears leaked out of my eyes and into my ears, (because I was lying on my back) as I contemplated the future. Then suddenly, sweetly, the thought came: You are strong. You have to set the tone for the future so that Martin won't get discouraged. If you are happy, he will be happy, no matter what the circumstances. I began to feel lifted up, and my depression began to leave. I took a moment to say goodbye to Gloomy Gussy once again, and felt steel go up my spine. Yes, I am strong, and I won't be discouraged. And then, I knew. I just knew that this is in Heavenly Father's plan. Something wonderful is going to come out of this- a new start, a bright future. If Martin is unemployed, he will be home to help me with the grandkids, go fishing, and take it easy and recover. I am not sure what the future will bring, but it will be good. I believe this with all my heart. I was talking to my niece tonight about making decisions, and she told me how she agonized over a decision that would drastically change her life. I listened to her as she told me of her struggles with this, and then, the thought came to my mind. "If your desire is righteous, go ahead and then rely on Heavenly Father to help you. As long as you serve Heavenly Father and follow the commandments, then go ahead and trust yourself to make a decision." I told her this, and when I said it outloud, I realized that it also applied to me in the circumstance of Martin's employment. We have been honest, done all we could to try to fix this situation, and followed the commandments. If Martin is still terminated after all out righteous efforts, then we will trust Heavenly Father to lead us to a better future. In the meantime, we will do all we can to live within our means, follow all the commandments, and trust that our needs will be met.

I am so pleased that the opportunity for Martin to relax for awhile has presented itself. He will go fishing, work in his garage doing woodwork, take the dogs on a nature walk, play cards with me, and spend time with Little Joe and the grandkids before and after school. The love their PaPa so much, and will be thrilled to see him every day. He deserves the joy of such a life.

As for me, well I am going to up the challenge. I am a great budgeter, and love a bargain. It will be good for me to stretch my talents, and I especially find joy in seeing the bottom line not decrease, but increase. I have my food storage, my sewing machine, and my determination. The girls will send groceries for the grandchildren, I will utilize my crockpot, and rely on my experience in stretching a chicken for two or more meals. You should have seen me when Martin was in the Army. We had nothing. I taught myself to make four meals out of one chicken. I quartered the chicken, two halves of white meat, two halves dark meat and sometimes even used the backbone for soup. I made chicken and dumplings, chicken and noodles, chicken and rice, and with a quarter white piece, would cut it in half again and fry it. I had a good time doing this, and Martin never knew what was going on. Of course, it was just the two of us, and when the kids came, sometimes I had to just halve the chicken and make two meals. I would take a one pound piece of chuch roast and quarter it. I made beef tips and rice, stew, vegetable beef soup and out of a quarter piece, slice it thin, pound it out and make chicken fried steak. My friends marveled at me. I taught them how to cook econmically. We all were able to save a lot of money on groceries, and I really enjoyed cheating the bottom line. This has stayed with me throughout my 40 years of marriage. It will serve me well at this time. For the last year and a half, I have felt driven to make sure my food storage is well stocked. Now, I feel comfort just walking into the storage room and looking at my stockpile. It would be much more difficult if I had to spend a huge grocery bill each week, and now my shopping consists of finding bargains and refilling the stock. Last week, a store on the other side of town had boneless, skinless chicken breasts for 1.37 a pound. Great deal, but the gas to get there would negate the savings. I rememberd that Walmart matches prices, so I took a chance and asked the meat manager at Walmart if he would honor the price. He did! So, I took some of my savings, and bought a bunch of chicken! I keep my eyes open for pasta, spaghetti sauce, canned meat, and other meal making items. Two months ago, it was soup. I found mushroom soup and cream of chicken soup for .50 a can, usually costing over a dollar. I bought two cases of each, and suffered some ridicule from my family, but now I have all the soup I need to stretch the meat and other dishes. Anyway, I am upping my savings game, and woe to all who get in my way! (All they care about anyway is what is on the table, not how it got there!) So, in spite of the finality of finally hearing about the termination, it has been a pretty good day. I know who I am, and I am rearing to prove it. Take that Gloomy Gussy!

Oh, by the way, I dreamed of Little Otto last night. He is my son who was killed when he was 13, and I have missed him so for almost 20 years. In my dream, he came up to me, and the last thing I remember is the incredible joy of hugging and kissing him. I can't remember more, but the feeling has stayed with me all day. Perhaps he knew we would be getting bad news today.