The Gentle Giant is being a stinker. He is in a bad mood because he is so worried. We actually had an argument last night, and believe me that is unusual, because after almost 40 years, we have run out of stuff to argue about.
First of all, I was crabby because he left me, (and I thought he was coming right back) to take Jacob to swimming practice. I was making blueberry jelly, and had a huge pot of boiling jelly going on the stove. You have to stand right over it stirring constantly, and I never make jelly when I am alone with Little Joe because I can't give him my full attention. Well, there I was, stirring a gallon of blueberry jelly, with Little Joe hanging onto my leg because he wanted to be picked up. I put him off as long as possible, but finally had to dash and put him in the high chair. He screamed at this abuse, he wanted to play. I had to leave him in his high chair because I had to pour the jelly into jelly jars, and I was so afraid that some might spill on him while he was clinging to me. I kept watching the window for Martin to get back, but time went by, jelly was poured and Little Joe screamed. After the jelly was safely poured and sealed, I put Little Joe back on the floor where he promptly pulled out all my baking sheets, took the alphabets off the fridge, put some paper in his mouth, (I had to sweep his mouth, and he screamed at me again) decided to chase the cat and on and on. My temper was growing, I mean, where was Martin anyway?
I still had to clean up the jelly making pans and utensils, wipe the counters and stove, and try to make sure that each jar had sealed. Some didn't. Little Joe got tired of chasing the cat and tried to go out of the doggie door. He couldn't get out of the doggie door because I had another door on the other side locked, but he kept trying and got frustrated. More screaming. Where is Martin? Becky got home and took Little Joe with her, and I sat and waited for Martin. I tried to get my temper under control, after all, I don't want to be a shrew, but I wasn't having much luck.
Finally, he came in, all cheerful and the like, and I patiently asked him what had taken so long. He reminded me that he couln't leave Jacob alone at swimming practice, (that made sense) but I told him that Sissy had told me that he was just to drop Jacob off. I wouldn't have started that river of blueberry jelly if I thought I was going to be alone with Little Joe. With my temper already on the burner, things escalated, and the next thing I knew we were carping at each other. We finally went to bed, me in tears, him snoring.
This morning I had to re-cook the jelly that did not seal, and of course, Little Joe was underfoot. I called Martin to take him and got a sarcastic look that clearly read, "what? can't you even take care of a little baby? You have to get me up?" I almost blew a gasket, and then I finished what I was doing and went to sit down with Martin. We talked about why he was being such a jackass, (well, I was being one too, but that doesn't count, does it?!!) I found out that he was so frustrated with the worker's comp decision, he was nervous about the proceedure he was having done on Friday, (they are going to take a lung biopsy, culture the bacteria and take pictures of his airways) because he was afraid of what they would find, and worried about what we would do if he did not get another contract for the new school year. After we discussed each topic in detail, we decided that we couldn't do anything about any of it, and we had to put it in Heavenly Father's hands. I broke down and asked him to forgive me for being grouchy the day before, and things got on a better level between us.
I hate to see him like this. I have decided one thing though, we have the opportunity to learn to live very frugally in preparation for the time when he does not have an income or he has to retire. It is hard, because I am very spoiled, but each day gets easier. At least we have this time to become accustomed to a strict budget, we have a great food storage and the house is paid for. We can make it because we always have. If we don't communicate though, we will be angry and that will undermine everything. So, he is a stinker, but I can understand. Funny though, I am not allowed to be a stinker, it is up to me to redirect the crabby behavior and set the tone of the house. I am woman, hear me roar!
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