The Gentle Giant is still down in the dumps.  I wish I could snap my fingers and get him out of them, but I can't seem to.  We are one of those couples that share feelings mentally, and I can really feel his depression. It makes me feel anxious, because I  know he is not happy. It is the same thing, his job, his health, the workers comp situation. He is also in some pain since the biopsy, and he tells me he is afraid of what will be found. Again, nothing we can do about it right now, so let it go.
There is so much I could write about, but I am trying to keep a positive attitude. I did feel so sad today at church, as a song that was sung was one that was sung at Otto's funeral. I had to pray for strength, but a few tears leaked out anyway.  There are so many who are facing much worse trials than I am, and I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have it so bad.
We did sneak off and had dinner tonight at our favorite Chinese restaurant. It was like a little date, and I didn't want to refuse because I am trying to cheer Martin up.  I don't like to go out on Sunday, but I don't want to cause a difficulty either, and so when Martin asked me to go, well I just went. While we were there, the little waitress really impressed me. Although her service was good, that is not what I mean. She was so cheerful, her smile immense, and her attitude amazing. I could tell she was new in the country, and so many would have been frightened, but you could not tell with her.  I don't know what her history is, but whatever it is, she is grateful to be here in America, and it shows. I want to be like that. I want others to be impressed with my happy attitude, and influenced by my joy.  I want to bloom where I am planted, as this little waitress surely is.
My goal is to make each day the best ever. If I can do this, it will help Martin appreciate his life, and bring his mood up. We truly have so very much, and it is a shame to let anxiety ruin our lives.  Maybe I will get a Disney CD with some happy music- you know, "whistle while you work", and some of those from Cinderella.  I will get excited about each opportunity that comes my way.  You know, stuff like, "be happy with dirty dishes, at least you got to eat".  Time will tell, but until it does.I am making it my job to turn out  happy.