discouragement

Lately, I have been lax in reporting information on the Gentle Giant. There is so much going on, but I still need to focus on what Martin is going through. 
He is really struggling. He is so disapointed about the denial for workers comp.  He feels that it is his fault, that perhaps he didn't present himself very well at the hearing, maybe he appeared to be ignorant of the facts. I told him that he did very well, that the facts have been skewed, and that for some reason, the hearing officer did not understand our case.  He feels that maybe we will never get help, and worries about what will happen when the summer is over.  He is having difficulty accepting the fact that after almost 20 years, the school can just throw him away. He feels unappreciated by them.
He is also having so much difficulty breathing. I found him in tears the other night, tears of frustration, fear and uncertainty.  He feels that he is useless, that he is not the man he should be and that he has let me and his family down.
That is so much to carry on his shoulders.  How I wish that I could  make him understand that we love and respect him more now that ever before, that we are honored to serve him, and want him to know how proud we are of him.
Things do appear very grim.  The college has not offered him a position for next year, and the medical bills are growing.  When I try to come to some sort of sense of everything, it it like a huge monster is threatening both of us.
Now is the time to have blind faith. We cannot see the plan of our Heavenly Father, but as in times past, we will perservere, will prosper and will have peace.  Looking back on past trials, trials that were absolutely something that we could never overcome, and yet were able too, I know that this too will find it's way the way it's supposed to.
Our lives have changed. All lives do, but change is so hard sometimes.  Even so, if the change is something Heaven sent, then it is something that will enhance our lives for the better.  No, we cannot see the future, have no way of knowing how it will turn out, and so the best thing is to enjoy each day, each moment as it comes.
I want the Gentle Giant to know that even though his temporal possessions are affected, the spiritual ones are only growing stronger.  We are together in this struggle, I am thankful for that. Our lives have come to sharing moments, memories and not expecting our will for the future. I pray that we can walk this path, free ourselves of pity and anger, and be the children that Heavenly Father has taught us to be. A year from now, things will be so very different than what they are today, and I pray that I can report positively, the changes and growth that Martin and I will have made.