Choking

You know how when you are eating something really yummy, (in this case a chocolate swiss cake roll) and  you get to the last bite and you just wish there was more of it, or even better another one if it didn't have any calories?  Well, that's me right now.  I am licking my chops as I write, and wish I could have all the swiss cake rolls I wanted, but I am sensible, and I left the box in the kitchen!
The Gentle Giant had a garage sale today. He had a great time, talking to all the customers, and selling his junk from the garage. He made some money, and the garage looks lots better. Of course he overdid it, and now is pooped out, but not before he asked Becky, Little Joe and I to come and have lunch with Big Joe and himself.  He loves hamburgers. He has to take it easy with them after his heart attack and blocked arteries, but generally he goes to a hamburger place once a month and enjoys himself.  Becky, Little Joe and I went to a baseball game for Jaybird. Little Joe did very well, and everyone made over him and his curly hair and chubby cheeks. I was ready to just go home after a morning spent at the ball park, but the lunch invite was too much to pass up. We took Jaybird with us, and  met the men at the hamburger joint, but not until we had stopped at Burger King to get a veggie burger for me.
Before I continue, I need to say that when I am tired, I am much more likely to choke on my food. I have to be so very careful when I eat anyway, because I choke really easily.  Today was no exception. I sat at the table with my veggie burger made with cheese, onions, tomatoes, Ketchup and a little bit of mayonaise. The family was talking and eating giant burgers, french fries, onion rings and tater tots and I was just sitting there listening to everything. I was really enjoying my veggie burger, and the thought occurred to me that it was so yummy, and the next thing I knew, a small bit of it went right down  my windpipe!  My throat is very weak anyway, and I have to swallow fast so that the food goes where it is supposed to, but today I was tired and not paying attention.  Actually, more than choking, it was what is called a  laryngeal spasm.
When you choke like this, your body reacts violently to expell the food. Of course you are coughing, but coughing out and cannot get air in. You can only cough so much until you are out of air, but your throat keeps constricting anyway. All of the muscles in your body tense, especially your abdominal muscles and chest muscles, and if you are lucky, you won't wet your pants. Not being able to breathe is terrifying, but when you are in the throes of an attack like this, not breathing is only one problem. Suddenly, you feel like you are going to throw up, your eyes are tearing up, your nose is running and in about 20 seconds you begin to feel like you are going to pass out. Suddenly, your throat opens and you gasp for air, but only for a second, and it starts all over again. You begin to wonder if you are going to die from this. You feel the muscles in your arms and legs stiffen and the pounding in your head is unbearable. Somehow, each time this happens, it corrects itself, and if you are lucky, the whole restaurant is not staring, or screaming for someone to call 911. The Gentle Giant calmly assures everyone in the area that he knows what to do and for no one to panic.  He is right, and after you can catch your breath, you continue to cough for about 10 minutes, wiping your nose and eyes and hoping you can keep your food down. After an attack like this, you are exhausted, really exhausted, and just want to go to sleep.
Sounds really scary, right?  Well, in my case, no matter how bad the attack is, my family just goes on with whatever they are doing and waits for me to be okay.  I have had so  many, it is commonplace to them.  Today, the comment was, "Mama's choking again, Pass the ketchup please". Nobody jumps up, the most they do is throw paper towels or napkins in my direction.  About the time  my face is totally purple, usually the comment is made, "you think she is okay?" and the answer is, "probably, but if she doesn't get better or passes out, we can check on her".
The grandkids don't even worry anymore. Eli knows that if I can't come out of it in a few minutes, he can call 911, and usually he runs over to  me with the phone in hand, finger pointed and gets ready to call if he needs to. He knows that if I actually hit the floor, it is time to call. So far, I have been transported only 3 times in 16 years of difficulty.
So, that is what I did today. Went to a baseball game, and almost died. The worst part of it is that I only got to eat a part of my veggie burger. I don't know what happended to the rest of it, but I couldn't have finished it anyway.  Now, for the next few days, I have to keep from talking if possible to rest my throat.  Most of those close to me have had the wonderful experience of witnessing a choking episode like this, and they handle it well. 
I consider things like this the price of life for me. That is how I can reasonably get through such things. I do have  many physical difficulties, but I don't have to have them. I could die and not worry about it anymore.  If I have to go through such things to be here on this earth with my loved ones, so be it. It is a small price to pay for the glorious experience of the life I have.