My eyes are opening!

The Gentle Giant returned to work today. There are problems- too many to mention here, but I think that in the near future, I will be writing about his termination at last. It has been a hectic day anyway, as poor Little Joe has been sick. Every time I tried to put him down, he would scream at the top of his lungs. This is such unusual behavior for him, and I finally told becky that he needed to go to the doctor. He wouldn't even take his bottle very well, and refused to eat any food at all. We did get him in and he has a severe ear infection. I started crying when they told us that because all I could think of was that he has been in pain and couldn't tell us.
I really need your prayers. I need to be more confident in myself while facing these current trials. I don't know why it is affecting me so much, like I have said before, I have always been able to stand up to problems, and not let my nerves get to me. But this time, I can't seem to help it. Seeing Martin struggle so much really hurts me, I love him so much, and can't seem to help him get better. Knowing that he has been so mistreated at work hurts me too- I can't stand to see these people treat him as though he were just an aggravation instead of a valued employee of 20 years.
To tell the truth, I find it hard to have to handle everything in the house! I sometimes want to tell Martin to get up and help me, but I must get used to a life where I am the caretaker. For so many years, I have been the one that needed caretaking, and I have always appreciated it, but now the table has turned, and I see how much is needed to take care of everything.
Just filling the birdfeeders and the squirrel feeders is a chore. Martin has always done that for me, and I would just sit and watch the birds and squirrels through the window. I never appreciated his efforts on my behalf. Taking out the trash is something else that I have to get used to, the trash can is forever full! When Martin did it, the can stayed pretty much empty.
Maybe I am just getting old. Maybe that is why it is so much more difficult for me than it was 23 years ago when Martin was out of work. Maybe that is why my nerves are so fragile. What ever the reason, I have to get a grip and quit letting stress and anxiety affect me so much. I don't mean to whine, but writing this stuff down gives me focus on how I have been acting. By the way, I did fill the birdfeeders, and those flying pigs seem to really appreciate it. I didn't realize how much birdfeed they ate, I know that the feeders will be near empty in less than two days.. When Martin did it, they just always stayed full-I hope I can keep up the pace!