A Okay!

Today, I got the results of my check-up at MD Anderson, a cancer hospital. Doc said that everyting was just fine. That's fine with me too, because I have enough to worry about with Martin's illness, the upcoming hearing to prevent his termination, and the upcoming Workman's comp hearing. With all that to consider, it is no wonder that I don't have time to think about what could be going wrong inside me, and instead, just find that I have more energy than I have had in years. Taking care of my Gentle Giant is all I want to concentrate on anyway.

Speaking of that, tonight the funniest thing happened! As most of you know, I have a tracheostomy, and have had it for 12 years. I forget that it is there, and every now and then, well, I am forcibly reminded. Tonight is one of those times. I had just finished my shower, brushed my teeth, got all ready for bed, and jumped in bed with a good book. As I was reading, I got a tickle in my throat, and before I knew it, a huge cough-snort-sneeze erupted from me. It is an automatic response to cover the trach when a cough is coming, and so, without thinking, I yanked my hand up to avoid whatever was going to spew, flying out of my trach. EWWWW! My hand was covered with mucus, and involuntarily, I flipped my hand to remove the offending mess. To my horror, (and to be perfectly honest, to my humor) I watched in slow-motion disbelief as the wad flew through the room, over 8 feet, straight onto the back of Martin's head. He was watching TV, and suddenly realized that something had happened, but what? From behind, I saw him look to the right, then the left and cock his head as he considered what it could be. Then, I knew the exact second that he realized that something had landed in his hair, because he began to reach up and behind to see what it was. He touched the mess, and hesitated, then slowly lowered his hand and brought it around to peer at it. All of this took only seconds, but like I said, it was in slow-motion for me.

First of all, I couln't believe how perfectly it landed on Martin. Splat, right on the back of his head. Our bedroom is 16x24 feet. How could it have landed so perfectly on his head when it had all that room to manuver? Secondly, I couldn't believe what had just happened. Thirdly, I could not stop the shriek of laughter that erupted from me as he slowly turned and pinned me with a steely glare. "Did you just fling a wad of snot on me?!!!!" he demanded. I played the innocent. "What are you talking about?" I said with all sincerity. He raised his hand and said, "THIS!!!" I began to stammer, trying to realistically act like I had no clue as to what he was talking about.

Before I continue, let me say, that I think that after 12 years, it is pretty good that this is the first time I have had such a mishap. While my mind was working in light speed to think of something to say, Martin said, "Don't bother to lie. I know this is your snot. Besides, there is no one else in the room but you and me!" I gave up. I told him that it was an accident, and he asked me if I knew what kleenex was. I tried to explain that I was so into my book that I didn't even realize what had happened until it was too late. He glared at me and said, "YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! THE GERM-PHOBIC QUEEN, FLINGING SNOT IN MY HAIR! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" I asked him if he was not impressed with the length of the flight, and he told me not at all. He then stomped into the bathroom, ran the shower and ducked his head under the running stream of water. I was laughing hysterically, I just couldn't stop. I mean, why not? How often could this happen in someone's life? It was unbelievable.

Of course, he had to tell Aunt Cheryl, and then she told Polly, and I am sure Polly told everyone in her house- needless to say, it doesn't matter that I am posting a story about snot, because it will be all over Texas tomorrow anyway!