A Day of Surprises

Martin got a surprise at work today, the supervisor actually jumped on someone else in front of everyone. Too bad for the supervisor, the employee immediatly called the union to protest. We'll see what happens. For years, Martin has had to endure a hostile workplace, for some reason, the supervisor has mad no secret that he doesn't like Martin. That has to be so hard, especially when you love your job as much as Martin does. He has always been so strong about it, but on occasion, I have seen the look of dispair on his face when he has to go and listen to the baloney. Fortunatly, the supervisor leaves soon after Martin arrives to teach night classes, and Martin doesn't have to put up with it.

I got a surprise today too! Someone sent me a lovely porcelain plate, about 5 inches across, with a little pioneer girl on it. The inscription says, "Grandmothers make the world a lovely place". I have no idea who may have sent it, but I love it, and will cherish it. I am going to get a plate-hanging rack and put it up in the foyer. I want everyone to see it. How nice of someone, especially at this time, when we are continuing to face our several trials. To whomever sent my lovely plate, thank you. You cannot imagine how much this means to me to know that I am being thought of.

Another day has come and gone, and I have been able to be positive. I feel the crushing weight of fear and dispair trying to break through, but I simply won't allow it to happen. It has become a physical effort to squash those feelings, but I can because I know they do not come from my Heavenly Father. Since Martin got his notice to terminate him from his job, I have had a background headache, (the kind of headache that just lingers in the back of your conciousness) and a recurring stomach ache. Today, Martin went and got some red beans and rice for me from Popeyes, and I felt so much better after I had eaten. Sometimes I forget to eat, nothing seems enticing to me, well, a huge fudgy brownie with nuts on top maybe, but real food? I can't seem to make the effort. I never thought the day would come when that would be a problem for me, but it has. I know it is a manifistation of my concern, and again, I am trying to ignore the negative feelings that could bring me down. A dear friend of mine told me Sunday that she didn't know how I can always be so cheerful, and I told her that Church only lasts 3 hours, but the rest of the time can be a challenge for me.

Having the children is the most help. Yes, they are little buggars, but they also make me feel like I am contributing. I make a concious effort to always smile and laugh for them, and that is very helpful. After all, if you act like it long enough, it will come naturally. Little Joe got his 6 month shots yesterday, and today he was crabby. He wanted to be held, and I can't blame him, and I used that for an excuse to let the housework slip for the day. He is only 6 months old, but he can sure play me and PaPa. He has also begun to "commando crawl". It is hard to realize that he will soon be scooting everywhere. I guess this means that I will have to child-proof the house, and that means securing the reachable cookie jars!That's okay, after all, it took me a long time to become a Nana.

To close, I should say that even though Martin has been given termination notice, we don't know when it will happen. Our attorney is taking them on, so who knows? It is just hard to have to think about it each day, but in the meantime, I am continuing to prepare for the future. Amelia, who is Joe's mother, brought me a huge container of cut-up fresh pineapple. It probably weighed about 10 lbs, and while I love fresh pineapple, even I have my limits. So, today when I could, in between Little Joe napping, I canned the pineapple. Now I have another 8 pints of pineapple for my food storage. Heavenly Father continues to bless us beyond our imagination- as my son once told me, "It won't turn out like you think, it will be better!" Well, so far the blessings have been "better" than I thought they could be. For now, writing is my greatest outlet. I can look at my feelings and deal with them, and one day, my family in the future will know all about their PaPa, Nana, and their life through a life-changing time.

More Fun than Monster!

Martin is such a good PaPa. He tosses, chunks, chases, roars at and in general, plays the best monster PaPa ever. The little grandkids come over with hope shining in their eyes that PaPa will be up to "scaring" them. They drop little hints like sitting on the top of his recliner when he is watching TV and "accidently" falling on him. Sometimes they tickle his toes, toss something on him, or stand in front of the TV. Of course he becomes the "monster" of their dreams when this works. PaPa is really good at playing possum. That is his way of saying that he doesn't want to play monster, and he can really wait those kids out. More often though, the Possum roars to life, scaring the dickens out of the kids. You wouldn't believe it, but Little Joe has figured him out too. PaPa can't resist those little squeals of indignation when Little Joe is doing his best to get PaPa's attention. It only takes a few seconds and Little Joe will find himself comfortable seated in PaPa's lap. This morning, PaPa was bouncing Little Joe on the bed, and Little Joe was squealing in joy. He got upset when PaPa wanted to stop, but I reminded PaPa that he started it. This has been the story around here since the first child of ours came into the world. With Jessica, I would be scared to death as he would toss her up in the air and catch her, but thankfully he never dropped her. His big strong arms have been the "boxing arena" for many bouts, with more than one child clamoring to get in on the action. Many times he has been dog piled with all of them on him at once, but I swear, he loves it.

On the other end, there are the dogs. They are huge, both around a hundred pounds or more, and very gentle with the little ones... Many times a baby has crawled over, around and under one of these German Shepherds, and they have just layed there, allowing it. Yesterday, one of my smaller grandchildren was spending the night, and sure enough, sneaked up on the back of PaPa's recliner, waiting to pounce on the "Monster". She did pounce on him, and he roared and grabbed her and tossed he onto the bed, right behind the recliner. She landed right on top of Rocky, the older Shepherd, and he just grunted. She scrambled off of Rocky, and patted the top of his head. He just lay there. Once again, she attacked the "monster" and once again, the monster tossed her back on the bed, right on top of Rocky. Since Papa was tossing over the back of the recliner, he could not see Rocky lying there. Rocky just lay there and let her land on him. This went on for a few minutes, and I thought that Rocky would get enough of it, but no, he let my granddaughter just fall all over him, not minding at all. These are wonderful dogs, so patient with the children, but very protective of the family. When Little Joe starts fussing, one of the dogs will come and get me. They lay by his playpen and watch him through the mesh. He grabs their ears when he can, and the let him. On occasion, Little Joe is the recipient of a wet doggy kiss, but he loves that too. I am looking forward to the time when he will toddle around behind the dogs, and I know they are too.

Between PaPa and the dogs, this home is kiddie paradise. So much to do, to hide, to run, to play. The dogs love the action, and love when the kids throw balls and things for them. It is a different story when a stranger comes around, because the dogs will do anything to protect their family.

One day, a UPS carrier came close to the door with a package. The dogs began to bark furiously, and the poor man had no idea that they could not get out, so he threw the package at the front door and ran all the way down the walk. At night, Rocky sleeps at the head of the hall leading to the bedrooms, and Jackie sleeps on the floor on my side of the bed. They are guarding their family. It is funny how they recognize children and missionaries. For some reason, they always know when the missionaries are at the door and welcome them in.

While the dogs and PaPa have all the fun, I am pretty much only good for snacks, laundry, meals and patience. I have a saying, "no one gets in trouble at Nana's house". This means that if the culprit is honest we can talk about the infraction. I do have a wooden spoon named Big Mama, but she hasn't seen action in a very long time. I guess just knowing she is available is enough. I wish I had been as patient with my own children as I am with my grandchildren. Maybe that is one of the perks of getting older, being more patient.

I am writing of these things tonight, because today I went with Becky to get Little Joe's 6 month shots. When I got home, one of my nephews who is older was watching the other three that come after school. As I settled in to look at the mail, I glanced around the kitchen. 3 bags of popcorn had been popped, the cupcaked had been raided, backpacks were strewn all over, the dogs were gratefully cleaning up cupcake crumbs and the kids were no where to be found. I walked back to my bedroom where we have a 60" tv on the wall, and two giant recliners at the foot of the bed. There they were, a whole nest of kids with popcorn in thier mouths, (which by the way had cupcake frosting on them) popcorn in the chairs, on the floor and even by the door. Soda's had been opened and thankfully were still in the can. On the dresser, two packages of Reese's peanut butter cups were opened, and the candy was long gone. As I walked into the room, the children absently said, "Hi Nana" and went on watching, munching and messing as though I wasn't even there. I should have snatched them up, given them a speech about being little pigs, and made them straighten up the room. I didn't though. I played the Nana card. PaPa and the dogs may be the fun ones in the house, but I am the Nana. I may not be the "monster", but I can be the Nana that patiently explains why they shouldn't be eating so much popcorn and soda especially after snitching cupcakes. After all, what does it hurt? My motto is, "sugar 'em up and ship 'em home!" That is way more fun than "monster!"

Church family

When I had my first two children, I realized that I wanted a large family. Seeing the larger numbers of children in many church families, I decided that I would like to have 10 kids. I could just imagine how it would be with all 10 of my children and Martin and I sitting together in church, a perfect family with perfectly behaved children. I would bask in the admiration as people wondered how I was such a wonderful mother and wife, how my kids were squeaky clean and perfectly dressed in the clothes that I lovingly handmade for them. We would fill up an entire church pew, my husband, 10 kids and me.

Yeah, whatever! As it was, I had 5 kids within 7 3/4 years. 3 are living, and two of them live close by with their families. One lives far away with his family. When they were little, it was more than enough that I had 5. First of all, Martin and I could not sit together in church, as we had to police the kids. He sat on one end and I sat on the other. I became an expert at nursing somebody without having to leave, as for most of the time I had a baby to feed. Just throw the blanket over your shoulder and go to it. Good thing we both have long arms, because we were able to reach all of them, even those in the middle if they misbehaved. Which, of course, was all the time. They were as clean as I could get them. I did manage to bathe them everyday, but that didn't keep them out of mud, water, food on their faces and down their clothes etc. Socks didn't match, buttons were missing sometimes, and zippers were down on occasion. I did make some of their clothes, but the Goodwill and I had quite a relationship. I had to check pockets before they entered church, inevitably there would be Hot Wheels, whistles, gum, rubber bands, little Strawberry shortcake dolls, half-opened cookies and the occasional "show and tell" item that they were smuggling in to impress their friends. I had to make sure that the toddlers had remembered to wear underwear, the others had on undershirts or slips, or that they had on matching shoes. Please don't forget the diaper bag! Sometimes I just wanted to do it all myself the night before and put them to bed fully dressed for church. Good idea, but then breakfast would have ruined my efforts.

Well behaved? Please. Martin was the worst of all of them. Each week, he would pick on someone, get them going, and I would have to shush them. He would make paper airplanes out of the program, and one time Little Otto tossed one and it flew behind to hit old sister Reed in the eye! Martin would think of any excuse to get up and go out, so sometimes he would do something to make a child squeal so that he could take them out. He and the boys had silent farting contests. The boys had not-so-silent farting contests as well. The poor girls were mortified, and most of the time I was just frazzled. Bringing coloring books and crayons helped, but by the time the service was over, I found myself crawling under the bench picking up scraps of colored paper that once graced a crayon. When the children were in a church program, there would be the nose-picking, "don't scratch there" scratching and unending wiggling. In addition, there was the hand waving, to make sure I could see them, and knowing my kids, I could see them well, as I sat on the front row! I became an expert at seating them. I knew that Jessica would be really good to the little ones, but would elbow Bobbie Jo and aggravate her. The boys could not sit together, in addition to farting, they would burp and make "vrooom" sounds with their imaginary cars. Becky could sit anywhere, as she was afraid to get in trouble. Then, there was Martin, doing "paper, scissors, rock" with whomever he was seated next to. Well behaved? Pretty typical I guess.

The reason I write about this tonight, is that today, the whole church pew was filled with my family. Me, two daughters, two sons-in-law, 3 grandsons and a granddaughter. Martin had to take Jaybird to practice. They had their toys, cell phones, food and drink. There was crunching, munching and slurping, and that was just the adults! (just kidding), but the kids did have their comfort items. They are necessary so that we can actually sit through a service, or otherwise I would be out in the hall and miss everything. On his cell phone, Robbie showed me the 8 pigs he killed on his hunting trip. Becky was on the other end of the pew, and so with sign language, we discussed the Sunday meal. Jessica hogged Little Joe but he was passed back and forth amonst all of us, squealing with each new family member. I sat on the end, and thanked God for all of them.

Yes, I finally have enough family to fill a church pew, and when all of us are together, Aunt Chery's family included, we fill up THREE church pews. I guess if I had had 10 kids, we would have hogged up the whole chapel. Wouldn't that have been nice?

Little Devil

Here he is! I couldn't figure out how to post him in the other post tonight, so he has one of his own!

A Treasure Trove

The most wonderful thing has happened! I found something that has been missing for more years than I can recall, and it is so precious to me. When Martin joined the army during the Vietnam war, (yes, he's old enough, can you believe it?) he found a little plastic red devil statue in his locker, and the statue had been left behind from the guy that had it before. It is about 5 inches tall, has a little pointed tail, little red horns and a cute expression. It is standing on a small platform and on the platform it says, "I love you when you're wicked!" He brought this little devil to me the first time we got to visit after he started basic training, and that was right after we married. I thought the little devil was lost after, well, maybe the house fire, the flood, the move, who knows. But tonight, Martin, David, Shane, Tyler and Natalie came to help clean out the attic. I needed my pressure canner, and Martin swore it was up there, but I know better. But, they all worked like maniacal squirrels and cleaned out box after box of stuff. Some of those boxes were put up there when we moved in 17 years ago, and before that they were packed with stuff from when the kids were little, and never unpacked. Christmas decorations, pictures, books, so many things that I haven't seen in years. It was like finding buried treasure! I am so happy to have my little statue back, and now, I will take extra good care of it. I have had it for almost 40 years!

I did home-can the beef today. Many memories came back to me too, when I was doing this. When the kids were little, if I got a super deal on meat, I would bring it home and can it. You have to remember, that all this happened in the 70's when the "Earth Mother" movement was in swing. Everyone wanted to move to the wilderness and live off the land, give birth at home and make everything from scratch. I couldn't move to the wilderness, but we did have animals, grew our vegetables, made butter, sausage and cheese, milked the cow and so much more. It wasn't anything special for me to home-can our meat, fruit and vegetables, and my kids thought nothing of it. One memory we have is when I canned peaches, and in order to peel them easier, I would boil them for 10 seconds and then run across the kitchen with the hot peaches in a bowl and dash them in ice water. The skin would just peel right off. (works great with tomatoes too!)To this day, if you say, "hot peaches!" my kids know that I am peeling peaches. I am not sure why I am so inspired to home-can meat at this time, but when these thoughts come to me so strongly, I just go ahead and do it.

To get back to my story, last night I asked Martin again for maybe the 10th time if he knew where my pressure canner was. All week he has told me it is in the attic, maybe the shed, maybe the garage, just be patient and he will get to it. I knew that I could get another one at Walmart, and brought it up to him, and he indignantly told me that I had no faith in him, and he would find my canner! Well, I bought the beef on Thursday, and the out-date was January 29th, so I was running out of time. This morning, Becky called and asked if I wanted to go to Walmart! Oh yes indeedie, I sure did! Naughty thing that I am, I went straight to housewares, and bought a brand new pressure, that was on sale by the way. Gearing up for the confrontation when I got home, I began to run a few scenarios through my mind. C'mon, I am 57 years old, I guess I can have a say over getting something I really need! Martin doesn't have a problem with it, you should see the tools and stuff in the garage. Do I carp when he gets new stuff? Well, maybe, but not really, except sometimes, it depends. Becky and I got home, and I left the canner in the car to judge his mood. After all, I don't want to "upset" him- but, he met me at the door. He said, "I have looked everywhere, and David and his family have pulled everything out of the attic, and Jaybird and I have looked all over the garage and in the shed, and well honey, I didn't see a canner anywhere and I'll take you to Walmart to get a new canner. I'm sorry I made you wait so long". Really? Well, that sure made it easy! I hugged him and told him I was "worried about having him go all the way to Walmart just in case he couldn't find the canner, and so I went ahead and got the one on sale, and here is the receipt just in case he found mine." I told him how much I appreciated all his efforts to make me happy, and went right ahead and just started cutting up beef, washing mason jars and so forth! As I used to say when I was little, "TEE HEE!" So, the meat is bottled. I am in the mood to do some more, so, I am going to do the small turkey that is in the freezer. Reminds me of the time that Martin had to take a dish to work, and I used some home-canned turkey and made turkey and dressing. Everyone loved it, and then he went and told them the turkey they were eating was over 2 years old. You can imagine their reaction. It wasn't that old, I had just canned it about 8 months before.

It was a good day. Oh, I am going to embroider a sign that says, "We got free batteries!". I want to commorate the blessing that occurred on a day that could have been momentous in grief. Instead, I got free batteries, and that let's me know that you never know when Heavely Father is going to surprise you. Like I said, a treasure trove!

Yep, the certified letter was a notice of termination, and we have 7 days to rebutt. I told our attorney, and as usual, he is on it. Well, finding this out really played havoc with my already stressed out stomach, and once again, I felt ill. I tried to talk myself out of feeling like that, I know that this is one door we have to walk through to get to our new life, a better life, a life where Martin can improve his health and relax somewhat. Jessica took us out to lunch, and I choked on my food- really choked, you know head-turning, Heimlic-considering, wouldja look at that kind of choking. This happens to me on occasion but most especially when I am stressed and not paying attention to swallowing. You would think that I wouldn't have to actually pay attention when I swallow, but I do as my throat is partially paralized. So, lunch was pretty much a bust, and to add to the "wonderful" day, when Martin went to start the truck this morning, BOTH batteries were dead. He tried to charge them, but they were really and truly pooped out. Fine, now we have to go and get two batteries for a diesel pickup, and they cost 90.00 each.

After lunch, we went to Walmart with the dead batteries. I told him to go on in and get the new ones, I just wanted to close my eyes and pray. I love to do this when I am all alone in the car, but once in awhile, people have tapped on the window to make sure I am okay. I didn't care if anyone tapped today, I just wanted some alone time. While I was praying, I remembered that I needed some canning jar lids to use to can the beef I had purchased yesterday. Fine, I got out of the car, went and found Martin, gave him the keys and went to housewares. I found the only two boxes of lids left, and considered the fact that I was lucky to get them. Canning equipment is scarce in the wintertime, but you can find it if you want to pay a premium price. I took the lids back to automotive,and gave them to Martin to pay for. He handed me a receipt and a 5 dollar bill and whispered, "honey, tip the guy". Uh, okay. I discreetly handed the young man the money, and thought no more about it. What I was thinking about was the dent that 220.00 just put in my bank account, but we had to have the batteries, and so that was that. When I walked out to the car with Martin, I asked him which account he had taken the money from or did he charge it. "What money?" he asked. I felt a flash of impatience and said, "the money for the batteries!" Martin grinned really big, and told me that the batteries were due to go out of warranty on the first of February, but since it was still January, they were covered, and they were FREE! In four more days, we would have had to pay for them, but today, they were FREE!

Well, you don't have to hit me with a brick! What a fabulous way for Heavenly Father to once again remind me that he has our back. What a blessing! The day instantly got better, and my mood improved exponentially. Of all days for a blessing like this, the very day that we got final notice that Martin will lose his job- I think Heavenly Father has a great sense of humor, which I appreciate, but more likely he saved the batteries going dead for a day when we really needed to know that he will take care of us. So, tonight I write with a humble heart. I will remind myself in the coming days and weeks that no matter what things may look like, we will be taken care of. Too bad that is a lesson that I am so easy to forget!

Ooops!

The ax is going to fall. The post office put a certified letter notice in my mailbox, without even trying to ring the bell to see if I was home. The letter is from the college where Martin works, and I think it is the notice of termination. Now, we have to wait until tomorrow to find out what it says, and that is something to add fuel to the fire. I mean really, why not ring the bell?

Well, as I have been saying, I am calm and I know that no matter what, Heavenly Father will see to our needs. Yesterday, I got a rewards card for the amount of 87.00 from my light company. Today, I took it to Walmart and price matched some more items for my food storage. I got chuck roast, (which believe it or not, I am going to home can in mason jars) lots of pasta, and other stuff. It has been many long years since I have had to live to the bear bone, but if it comes to that, at least I have my own grocery store.

The reason I say that I am going to home can the meat, is because when I was praying in Sacrament meeting, the thought strongly came to me to use my skills to can some meat for my food storage. I haven't done this since the 70's, but I have a new pressure canner and plenty of jars. Home canned meat lasts at least two years or more, and looking at canned roast beef tonight, I saw that an 8oz can costs 3.99. Chicken is much more reasonable, but beef is outrageous! So, I will just do it myself. It is really easy, just put lean cuts of beef in the mason jar, add a bit of salt and cover with water. You then pressure cook the jars for an hour and 15 minutes and let them cool.

Thinking of this makes me remember something I forgot to tell you that happened on Sunday. To begin with, earlier in the week, the sweet little girls at church baked homemade bread to pass with the Sacrament. That was a lot of work for them and I was really proud to know that those skills are being passed on to our youth. Well, while the Sacrament was being passed, I began to pray, and got quite caught up in my thoughts. I should say, I was really going at it, with my head bowed and my eyes shut. My arms were crossed and for all intents and purposes, it looked like I might have been sound asleep. I promise I wasn't, but while I was communing with Heavenly Father, I felt a tap on my shoulder that startled me. My left arm came swinging up, and totally knocked the bread tray right out of the young man who was passing, hand. Dear, sweet, yeasty whole wheat bread cubes flew all over the aisle. See, these things happen in milliseconds, but seem to take forever. In slow motion, I saw the bread fly, the look of horror on the young man's face, felt the embarrassment of tossing sacred bread all over the place, and heard the gasps of surprise from everyone who saw the incident. At first, I didn't realize what had happened, as I was coming out of my self-induced prayer mode, but then I did realize what happened, and I didn't know what to do. What I did is gasp in surprise and shame, and throw myself on my knees, scooping up bread from around the young man's feet. I heard Aunt Cheryl whisper to Martin, "lookie there, she just knocked that whole tray of bread out of his hand and down the aisle". The poor young man looked on in confusion as I was scooping up the bread, and pretty soon I had a whole handful, with more on the carpet. I started squishing the bread in my hand to make more room, and then the sweetest thing happened. A young teen-aged hand from another young man gently reached out and took the squished bread, while he picked up the other pieces from the floor. He put all the pieces together in his hand, and then into his pocket, in one swift, smooth move and then gave me a smile. I was so impressed at his quick thinking and especially his concern for my situation. The other young men continued to pass their trays of bread, and Sacrament went on. I'll never forget the kindness of that young man. I feel tearful when I think of the situation, because it could have been an incident that people remembered with derision, but instead, it was no big deal, and I was able to see the pure love of Christ in the actions of one of tomorrow's leaders.

This memory will be added to the savings of love that will sustain me in the future. The winds will howl, the storm will rage, and the ground may shake, but I am safe within the coccoon of love, from those around me and from my Heavenly Father.